Trust is the foundation of every meaningful relationship—whether with your partner, children, colleagues, or boss. When trust is strong, relationships thrive. When it’s broken, conflicts arise.
But what exactly is trust?
“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” — Ernest Hemingway
That sounds simple, but how do we truly gauge trustworthiness?
The 4 Elements of Trust
Charles Feltman, author of The Thin Book of Trust, defines it as such: “Trust is risking making something you value vulnerable to another person’s actions.” He further breaks trust down into four key elements:
- Care – You genuinely care about what matters to me. We are in this together.
- Reliability – You do what you say you’ll do, consistently.
- Sincerity – Your words and actions align. You mean what you say.
- Competence – You have the ability and skills to follow through.
When any of these elements fail, trust begins to erode.
For example, if I promise to deliver a report by the end of the day and don’t, you might give me a pass once—but if it happens again, you’ll think twice before relying on me. Similarly, if you entrust me with your company’s finances without ensuring I have the right skills, trust will inevitably break down.
“Trust is like the air we breathe—when it’s present, nobody really notices; when it’s absent, everybody notices.” — Warren Buffett
How to Build (and Repair) Trust
Building trust isn’t about grand gestures—it’s about small, consistent actions over time. Here’s how:
1. Take Responsibility
If you make a mistake, own up to it. Acknowledge it, apologize if needed, and take action to make things right.
2. Show Competence
Trust grows when people see you’re capable. If you lack the skills for something, be honest about it and work to improve.
3. Communicate Transparently
People trust those who keep them informed. Regular updates, honesty, and openness—especially when things don’t go as planned—strengthen trust.
4. Follow Through
Do what you say you’ll do. Keeping promises, no matter how small, builds credibility over time.
5. Lead with Empathy
People trust those who genuinely care. Listening, acknowledging feelings, and showing concern for others’ well-being creates deeper connections.
“A team is not a group of people who work together. A team is a group of people who trust each other.” — Simon Sinek
Practical Steps to Strengthen Trust
- Practice Active Listening – Give full attention, listen without interrupting, and show you value others’ perspectives.
- Clarify Expectations – Ensure all parties understand and agree on commitments to avoid misunderstandings.
- Provide Regular Feedback – Open, constructive feedback builds mutual trust and helps prevent conflicts.
- Invest in Skill Development – Continuously improving your abilities ensures you can meet commitments confidently.
“Trust is built in very small moments.” — Brené Brown
Trust is not a one-time event—it’s a habit. Through small, consistent actions, we create stronger, healthier, and more resilient relationships.
Ready to start building trusting teams and relationships? Let’s talk.